The epitome of Maine classifieds sections: AA meetings next to deer cutting next to bible study sessions next to wedding vow writing next to the man who sold me my first car.

My bird room.

Soooo... I think my room is precious. Obviously, I have a thing for birdies. Yes, that is a stuffed penguin on my bed. His name is Berg. 

Muffin FAIL.

Tri Berry Muffin FAIL. I had two choices when this happened: cry like Guy Fieri at an Iron Chef Challenge or take a picture for facebook.

Positive Thinking

Jason Derulo says his name before songs so people know it's him and not Weird Al Yankovic. No confusion.

What would happen if everyone did what Jason Derulo does by saying their name before everything... It would be like "Lola Sizemore: buying groceries." Or my favorite: "Lola Sizemore: writing stupid things on a blog."

TRAITOR JOES USES PAPYRUS IN BRANDING?! EW

Now usually I'm all about Trader Joes and I was thrilled to get one finally up here in Portland, Maine. I'm sick of having to go to Whole Paycheck for my organics when let's be real, bananas are organic anyways. Why would I pay more for them? When I lived down south, the Trader Joes was everywhere and it's about time we got one up here.

As a frequent visitor, I'm well aware of their personalized and well designed branding. They have constantly impressed me. But due to a vitamin E deficiency and a need of more natural oil for my skin,  I picked up this little number. What should I see on the label? Papyrus. THE MOST ANNOYING FONT IN THE WORLD.

Not only do I see this font everywhere on the branding for misguided, local small business owners but now at Trader Joes? It's a horrible font, completely over-used and it doesn't say "organic" or "granola-y" or even "natural." No, it says "I'm too lazy and cheap to hire a designer that cares." Being that Trader Joes usually has great branding, I can only chalk it up to that they thought no one would notice the Vitamin E oil sitting at the bottom of the shelf. Lucky for them, this designer has weird skin. And I caught you guys.

Paul LePage, tea party favorite won the election.

Now, I'm not trying to be rude... but the guy looks like the Penguin from Batman.

Homemade lineoleum cards for sale coming soon.

After the success of my cards, I'l have some for christmas/buying soon!

This is what you find at dance clubs in Maine.

Oh it's just your average creepy doll in a rickety high chair. No big. Random picture of a nurse? Totes normal. 4 ft. tall telephone? Completely useful for drunk dialing.

Manicans, vintage lunch boxes, antiques, a light up dance floor and more. ALL can be found at Bubba's here in Portland, ME. Why, you may ask, would someone name a dance club after their toothless cousin from Arooooostock county? Well,  it's all part of the incandescent charm of one of Maine's finest and sketchiest dance club.

I was a ferry boat for Halloween.

A friend of mine suggested that I go as a faerie for Halloween. I thought she meant ferry? Well at least I was the one ferry boat in Portland, Maine. Way too many girls wearing next to lingerie and Lucite heels for my liking. It's time to bring back awesome Halloween costumes! No longer can we wear just a sexy dress and devil horns and call it good! Make the holiday count!

Banana Buttermilk Pancakes from scratch

AMAZING. DELICIOUS. I MADE THESE?!