Figure Skating is not a sport: Update

Who does PETA go after for wearing fur?

a) The Olsen Twins

b) Women from Long Island

c) Figure skaters

d) All of the above.

Correct answer... All of the above. Read how this little outfit is causing an Animal Rights meltdown.

Conversation at the grocery store

Cashier: What are these?

Me: Chesnuts.

Cashier: Like chesnuts on an open fire?

Me: Exactly.

Cashier: Can you eat these?

Me: Is this a grocery store?

Cashier: Yeah... why?

Me: Nevermind.

Cashier: That will be $5.38.

Me: For chesnuts? Hmmm...That's kind of a lot.

Cashier: Well you could go find your own Chesnut tree.

Me: (owned)

Figure Skating is not a sport. Discuss.

Sure they flip and do quadruple axel spin camel jumps, but seriously? It's a dance. On ice. With really silly outfits.

HARMONICA HAIKU.

Shopping at Target.

No Harmonicas there.

That is wicked lame.                               

I made spring rolls!

Pretty easy. And they're healthy. 

Step 1:  Buy spring roll paper. The more writing in a language you don't understand on the packaging, the better. Put the sheet of round, tortilla-shaped-but-definitely-not-tortilla spring roll paper in water for 15 seconds.

Step 2: Take the wet spring roll paper and put it on a dry paper towel. Put vegetables and shrimp at the end. I used lettuce, carrots, onions, scallions, ginger and shrimp for these ones, but I'm sure you can use something else. Like chicken. Because who doesn't love chicken?

Step 3: Roll.

Step 4: Take a picture and put it on your lame blog. And then maybe eat.

My turtle is an athlete.

Tony Little loves my new kicks. Ok, mostly just the shoe box.

Look what I found in the sewing kit...

As I was cleaning out my sewing kit, I found a ton of things that once belonged to my mom and grandmother. So naturally I found snaps for only 13 cents.

New winner for worst photoshop job of the month

Here is Emma Watson, star of Harry Potter 12, the Search for the Missing Appendage.

P.S. That's her brother...

That Guy

Wicked bad photoshop

I have honestly never watched this show in my life, and I know that makes me literally the only person in America who hasn't. But didn't they add Ellen to their judges table? And didn't they just plaster her in here? Between the low res photo of her and the fact the lighting is off... it's a a winner for worst photoshop job of the month.

PENGUINS!

haha. They are so cute. Happy belated Holidays.

Milk in a Bag = EcoMilk

When I was in the fourth grade Sea Road Elementary School, our lovely and ever so eco-friendly janitor went on a mission to change the world to be “more green.” Some might say he was a true visionary. Along with recycling bins, he brought us “milk in a bag.” No longer would we suffer through the complicated process of opening a cardboard carton: the bags were here. They were a combination of Capri Sun and Ziploc bags… and weird looking. “Milk in bag” was a lot less wasteful, easier to ship to schools and virtually indestructible. Our eco-janitor proved this by throwing a milk bag across the cafeteria as a demonstration. You can imagine the faces of a few hundred fourth graders when we discovered a new water balloon would be provided every day at lunch. Needless to say, the milk bags didn’t last very long at the elementary school. Or anywhere else for that matter.

But being eco-friendly is in now. Most of the commercials on TV talk about two things: Saving the Economy/money or saving the planet. Recycling has never been so trendy. Design is reflecting a cleaner, simplistic look and organic colors like brown are in again. Little fact: last time the color “Champagne” was the most popular car color was during the recession of the late 70’s. Look on the road now. You’ll see a lot more tan cars.

And back to my odd little story. I recently came across this European production company called Ecoclean (http://www.ecolean.com/) that has essentially redesigned “Milk in a bag” The design has been hugely popular in the design community and was give 4.28 stars out of 5 from Dieline.com. It’s not only eco-friendly, but also cost efficient. So will this come back in style and the efforts of my elementary school janitor not wasted? I’m not sure we’ll all be pouring milk from a bag on our morning cereal anytime soon, but it does make us think about the cost of production on our environment.  And new ways to design while being eco-friendly.

The embroidered pillow I made for my mom.

Here at our house, I like to make a few gifts. So this year, I got the design from Andrea Zuill's amazing blog, Bad Bird, and made this pillow. Part hand embroidery, part sewing machine magic. Removable seams for taking the pillow sham out for washing as well.

Some of my own original designed patterns will be coming up soon!! 

The Muddy Warrior Mask Mixture

My organic "mud" mask recipe:

I know it looks absolutely disgusting, but I promise it's amazing.  And easy. And you're welcome for yet another girly moment.

2 tablespoons of coffee grounds.
3 tablespoons of baking powder
1 tablespoon of natural honey
1/2 tablespoon of sea salt.

Mix and now you have a face mask that makes your skin feel awesome. 

The film, Valentine's Day = Love Actually 2 with bad cameos.

Ughhhh... Why must Americans copy everything the British do well? Love Actually was pretty good, but this movie just looks like too many overpaid actors each with their own sub-par sub-plots. And let's throw in Taylor Swift AND Taylor Lautner because those two are so IN right now. Vampires are in too. Want to add a Vampire storyline in too?

To say how I feel about this movie from only the preview could accurately be described by the reaction of my most recent movie theater audience. This is a true story.

Scene:
Audience sitting patiently in the cramped movie theater. While chewing on popcorn and sipping on pop, the lights go dark and the preview begins.
Audience doesn't laugh at "funny" moments in preview.
After the narrator announces each of the names of around 100 or so semi-ok actors and a C+ actors... the audience sighs.
Obviously overwhelmed, the audience is annoyed by the over-casting and starts murmuring:
"Definitely a rental."
"Ugh... Jamie Fox was good in Ray. What happened here?"
"That's a lot of salaries."

I probably won't be seeing this Oscar winning piece.

And this was from the weird fortune cookie...

Merry Christmas,

  This was in my fortune cookie. Yes, we had Chinese on Christmas. Yes, we went to the movies. No, my mother is Catholic.

A Christmas Story Chinese Restaurant Scene

This Christmas, we went to the movies and had Chinese food. One of the top Christmas memories, besides shooting Champagne bottles at the weird neighbor's house.

Santa is a little creepy.

My mom keeps this picture up year round. I was probably 2 years old? And terrified. 

Happy Festivus to Mrs. Russo

Some hardcore Christmas fanatic put this in the local newspaper. I'm 1) amazed that someone spent the money to do this and 2) contemplating sending her a menorah.

a seattle agency's holiday card

Wexley's little white elephant gave me a picture of David Hasslehoff!

Click here to play!