January 25, 2011

Celebrities have alter egos. Real people call it mental health issues. The top 5 worst celebrity alter egos.

I get it, you want to be new, fresh and sell more albums. But if I went around talking in a high pitched baby voice calling myself "Veronica," I'm pretty sure I'd be in a straightjacket. Have we forgotten Britney Spears? The girl talked in a British accent for months until people realized she was just downright crazy(could also have been the shaved head as well).

Alter egos are nothing new and a complete marketing ploy. Congratulations, your hair is a different color. I'm still not buying you overpriced white noise cd.

So without further ado, here are the top 5 WORST celebrity alter egos as of 2011. And remember kids, be yourself because somebody else is already taken. 

5.) Beyonce: "Sasha Fierce"
The lady got it wrong artistically but made a bunch of money in the process anyways. Sasha Fierce is just Foxy Cleopatra without Austin Powers. I know everyone loves Beyonce and this might be Beyonsphemy but the girl could even pick an ORIGINAL alter ego? And please, stop letting your mother make your clothes. This isn't the Von Trap family.

4.) Eminem: "Slim Shady"
Want to know why every teenage boy loved you? No, not because of that sexy over-dried bleached hair. It's because you had the maturity of a watermelon seed. It was like watching that kid in the back of the class stand on his desk making fart sounds. You were funny for a half a second. Now you just make us uncomfortable. 

3.) Mariah Carey: "Mimi"
Anyone ever watch that PBS show "The voyage of the Mimi" is elementary school? Starred a young Ben Affleck and was about a shipwreck. Mariah Carey's Mimi was exactly that- minus Ben Affleck.  It's not a coincidence that Mariah Carey was rumored at one time to be in a relationship with number four on this list. Crazy likes crazy.  And I feel bad about this one because she's the only one on this list that actually IS crazy. But, equality for all.
2.) Nicki Minaj: "Roman," "Onika," "Cookie," "Barbie,""Rosa," and more.
She's super talented- and super crazy. It's like the United States of Tara but really,  can she even keep up with all of them? She is the queen of multi-accents and freaking people out. It's like method acting- sure it's fantastic on screen but everyone around you is wondering if you are off your rocker.  C'mon, just look at her.

1.) Garth Brooks: "Chris Gaines"
This one takes. the. cake.
First, most people pick an alter ego name that sounds like a superhero or a comic character. He picks one that sounds like the last kid chosen in gym class. Country "star" Garth Brooks' Chris Gaines has a ridiculous name, bizarre soul patch and emo haircut as well. Oh now he's serious because he looks like an angst ridden teenager?  DING DING, we have a winner for the weirdest, lamest and more crazy alter ego. 

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